I had a long, long reply prepared, but you know what? The best way to find out is to read the stories (the ones written by the â€œreceiverâ€ rather than the â€œgiverâ€), and while you get a feel for what itâ€™s all about, you also realize there are so many different experiences that itâ€™s really impossible to give a definitive answer. (For example thereâ€™s a big difference between self-bondage and being tied up by a partner, basic bondage and role-play, etc.)
Itâ€™s a very personal thing, so I can only speak for myself.
If the jobâ€™s done properly, I like the challengeâ€¦ the feeling of being helpless but at the same time being in total control of myself. That might seem like a contradiction, but I enjoy the struggle. Youâ€™re doing everything in your power to escape, or just to cope with your situation, and you have to be completely self-reliant even though you may have to depend totally on your partner (captor, whatever). You become the centre of your own little universe â€“ youâ€™re feeling helpless and frustrated and angry and embarrassed and excited and aroused and determined, all at once. (Okay, to be honest, I think itâ€™s about the adrenalin.)
Some people think you have to be weak and submissive to get tied up. I think you have to be strong (mentally, not necessarily physically).
If the above sounds mystical or just plain incoherent, blame a lack of sleep and an excess of caffeine.
Words, like Nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within.