My Only Wish (This Year)
God, I hate Christmas. Everywhere you look pictures of happy families and loving couples enjoying age old traditions greet you. For those of us single and alone on the holiday it's like salt in the wound. God, why couldn't I just meet a nice guy? Someone who's not a total jackass. Is that so much to ask for?
I sighed and looked across my crowded office. My eyes landed on him. Philip Amboni, the source of current bad mood. He was the man I loved. The man I obsessed over every night. The man I wanted to be with more than anything else in this world. The man who was married to the boss's bimbo daughter. God! Life is so unfair!
Trying to distract myself I began browsing the internet. It was Christmas Eve, we were closed the next day, why bother working. I don't remember what I hit but I found myself looking at a very strange little article.
The Secret Legend of Mrs. Claus
We all know about Santa's midnight ride. How he
travels the world delivering toys to all the good boys and
girls while Mrs. Claus waits for him at home. Well if you
believe some of the older more obscure legends out there
this may not be the case.
According to these tales Mrs. Claus is not the kindly
old woman we see depicted every Christmas. The story goes
one year Santa crashed into the home of the legendary Amazons.
He fell hard for an older warrior who left her home to be with him.
Sounds like Wonder Woman a bit, doesn't it?
She is not satisfied with staying home alone while Santa is on
his ride. So she goes on her own. She reads letters sent to her by the
heartbroken women of the world. If she took pity on them she would fly
down on Christmas Eve and steal the man (or woman) she loved and give
him to her as a present. If she has sex with him while he's still wrapped he
will fall madly in love with her.
I stopped reading after that. It was stupid. It was pointless. It was impossible. It was the only thing I wanted to do. I knew as I dropped it off in the mailbox nothing would come from it. It just made me feel better to write it. I went home and drunk myself to sleep.
Philip and his wife Alexa were asleep in bed when it happened. He shot straight up when he heard Alexa scream. She was being carried into the bathroom by five naked women with pointy ears carrying vibrators and ropes. Her pajamas had been torn off and tossed aside.
He jumped up to save her only to be tackled by a line backer. He looked up to see a beautiful, muscular, older woman crouching over him.
"Time to go."
I awoke the next morning head pounding. I walked down stairs to the kitchen to pop some Aspirin. It was then I heard the moaning. I ran into the living room. My heart stopped. Philip was laying under my tree, naked and bound by tight red and green ribbons and bows. A panel gag covered his mouth which read "Don't Open Till X-Mas".
"Philip! What happened to you?"
I rushed over and started untying him. It was then I saw the tag handing from his penis. "Merry Christmas, Mrs. C."
No way. I stopped. He looked at me pleadingly. I knew it was impossible but I had to try.
I flipped him onto his back. I yanked off my underwear. He began to grunt and try to scoot away. I fucked him anyway. When I was done we just sat there looking at each other. Then I removed his gag. Wanna hear something funny? He didn't demand to be released. He just looked at me lovingly and said,
"Merry Christmas, baby."
I never unwrapped that gift and never will. He was never asked me to and I know he never will.
God, I love Christmas.
"Unbidden and unwanted came a strange feeling of wonder, that had been hidden beneath his panic ...that this woman wanted him enough to steal him ..." - Beautiful Abductress, Jennie Lee Schade