Stupid bet

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XLWolf
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Stupid bet

Postby XLWolf » Tue Nov 10, 2015 1:04 pm

This is my first attempt at one of these, so feel free to leave some criticism.

It all took place about a year ago, I was fourteen at the time and my friend Asher who was also 14 came over for the night. My sister was home but she was going to a party later so it was just going to be me and Asher. Asher was white, had short dark brown hair and had emerald like eyes, he was also very athletic and just finished a hockey practice before he came, when he kicked off his shoes all I could smell was his feet.

He was wearing white socks with black stripes and just by looking at them I knew how sweaty they were. We started playing COD: AW, and we played online for a little bit until Asher decided he wanted to 1v1 me. But before we started he decided to make it interesting, he said that the loser would have to smell the winners feet. I agreed and we began playing, I got off to a really bad start, he managed to kill me three times before I could finally kill him, after that I knew my fate was sealed.

The game ended with him winning by four kills, so I put my nose on to his foot and just as it touched I could feel my nose getting wet from his sweaty feet. While I was smelling his foot Asher just laughed and told me that I suck at COD. I smelt his foot for twenty seconds but it felt like an hour, it was agonizingly stinky and sweaty, so obviously I wanted revenge. So I challenged him again to a 1v1 this time the loser would be tied up and be forced to do whatever the winner wants him to do. And of course I lost again...

So Asher sat me down on a chair and proceeded to tie me up, this was an easy task since he went to boy scouts for two years. And as soon as I was tied up Asher started the punishment. He took off his socks and told me to "open up" , I was reluctant at first but he kept saying that I made this bet and I have to own up to it, so I opened up my mouth and he shoved both of his sweaty socks in my mouth, it was disgusting but all Asher could do was laugh. He then told me that he's been wearing those socks for a week and I immediately tried to spit them out but just as I tried Asher took a piece of duct tape and covered my mouth with it.

This was only the begining however as he went into his backpack and brought out his old pair of Converse, he wore these shoes for four years before finally getting a pair of vans only a few weeks prior. He held one of them up to my nose and the smell was awful, he then took duct tape and taped the shoe to my nose. He laughed a little more and left me like that for about an hour. He eventually came back, he took the shoe away from my nose and un-gagged me, I was so happy to finally breath fresh air, but little did I know what Asher had in store for me. He untied me from the chair and put me on the floor, he then put his barefoot on my face. He told me to lick it, and I did as he commanded and licked his foot, practically clean I might say.

I finally thought my punishment was over, but then I saw Asher reaching into his bag again, I was horrified to see him take out a pair of Calvin Klien boxers and his jockstrap. I started pleading and he decided to cut me a deal, he said that if I allowed him to stick the dirty Calvin Klien boxers in my mouth and tie the boxers he was wearing currently to my face for the night he would not do anything with the jockstrap, he then told me the second option was that I have to lick his jockstrap ten times and then kiss his ass he would untie me. As dumb as it may sound I chose option two and licked his jockstrap. The first lick was extremely gross, it was still sweaty from his hockey practice.

The ssecond time was even worse cause all I could think of was this jockstrap on Asher, and it didn't help that Asher was doing pelvic thrusts while laughing his head off. the other eight licks were just as disgusting as the first one but I finally did it, I only had one more thing to do and that was to kiss his as. But just as I was about to do it he told me that I also had to say that "Asher will always be better then you". So I said it and then kissed his ass, he then untied me and said "that wasn't too bad" and I swiftly told him to fuck off. So in the end of it I was humiliated and lost some pridue, I eventually got revenge, but that's a story for another time.

Thanks for reading!
Last edited by XLWolf on Tue Nov 10, 2015 3:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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xtc
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Re: Stupid bet

Postby xtc » Tue Nov 10, 2015 3:51 pm

OK, I promised myself I wouldn't do this but . . .
. . . Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease, paragraph this.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

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xtc
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Re: Stupid bet

Postby xtc » Tue Nov 10, 2015 3:54 pm

Sorry, XLW, I KNOW I approved this some time ago but I've just been asked to do it again.
It's NOT your fault and I apologise for the delay.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

XLWolf
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Re: Stupid bet

Postby XLWolf » Tue Nov 10, 2015 3:59 pm

No problem

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NemesisPrime
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Re: Stupid bet

Postby NemesisPrime » Tue Nov 10, 2015 4:16 pm

Sounds like a fun time to me :) Thanks for sharing!
Everyone speaks in multiple languages...But gag talk is universal and a sock in your mouth is the perfect translator!

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Re: Stupid bet

Postby drawscore » Tue Nov 10, 2015 8:37 pm

First, not all of us are familiar with acronyms and/or abbreviations. The first time one is used (COD: AW), spell it out, then put it in parentheses - Captive on Demand: Awful War (COD: AW)

Next, make it credible. You say this is true, but there are a couple of things that do not "ring true." This is not to say they are not, but they just seem strange or out of place. For instance, when I was growing up, whenever I spent the night with a friend or friends, I would always go over "freshly scrubbed," and would not be carrying any dirty clothes with me. The same held true when I had an overnight guest. He/they would arrive showered and clean, and in clean clothes, usually reeking of fabric softener. (It would not be unusual for a host to have such items on hand, but if their moms were anything like the ones in my neighborhood, dirty laundry would either not be present, or would be in the hamper, near the washing machine. And my mom, and other neighborhood moms, would NEVER let a pair of dirty, smelly sneakers sit in my closet for any length of time. They would either be thoroughly washed and aired out, or either thrown out, or given to the Goodwill or Salvation Army thrift shops, especially if they were small or tight on me. If I was not going to be engaging in athletics, I would not bring a jock strap with me to a sleepover. (But that's me, and that's how I grew up. Your childhood/adolescence might have been different, but I relate through my own experiences. Things or events you describe may well be true, but they do not compare well with the things and events of my own youth.)

Style is good. The story is well written, and does not contain any overt grammatical errors, which grate on me like fingernails on a blackboard. There was a spelling error I spotted, but it was probably a typo, rather than an error. Check your work before posting, and, as I have said before, "SpellCheck is your friend. Use it."

So, for what it's worth,

Writing: A
Style/grammar: B
Spelling: A-
Credibility: C-
OVERALL: B

Drawscore

XLWolf
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Re: Stupid bet

Postby XLWolf » Wed Nov 11, 2015 4:23 am

My apologies, I didn't mention that it was short notice and he literally just came after his hockey practice

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xtc
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Re: Stupid bet

Postby xtc » Wed Nov 11, 2015 5:04 am

drawscore wrote: and in clean clothes, usually reeking of fabric softener.

Drawscore


Fabric softener?? There's posh for you.
Boxer shorts are cool,
but little speedos rule!

More by the same author: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=22729

drawscore
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Re: Stupid bet

Postby drawscore » Wed Nov 11, 2015 5:40 am

In true stories, strive for the ABC's - Accuracy, believability, clarity.

Drawscore

tiednw
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Re: Stupid bet

Postby tiednw » Wed Nov 11, 2015 6:22 am

Nice first story! Feel free to share the other experiences you had with your friend (or others).

drawscore
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Re: Stupid bet

Postby drawscore » Wed Nov 11, 2015 1:16 pm

xtc wrote:
drawscore wrote: and in clean clothes, usually reeking of fabric softener.

Drawscore


Fabric softener?? There's posh for you.


Some mothers had a penchant of adding three capfuls of Downy to the washing machine's "rinse" cycle, rather than the normal one. It left our jeans, shirts, scout uniforms, and other clothes with a strong aroma of "springtime fresh."

Drawscore

Ringerboy
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Re: Stupid bet

Postby Ringerboy » Sat Nov 14, 2015 2:23 am

Great story! Would love to hear more from you.

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TUfriend
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Re: Stupid bet

Postby TUfriend » Fri Jan 01, 2016 2:40 pm

one comment from a writing aspect: include more details about how you were tied up.
XLWolf wrote:So Asher sat me down on a chair and proceeded to tie me up, this was an easy task since he went to boy scouts for two years. And as soon as I was tied up Asher started the punishment.
This is all that we get here in relation to the act of being tied up. Include details such as were you tied directly to the chair? Were your arms tied in front of you, behind you, to the arms of the chair? Did he use rope, tape, chains or handcuffs? or something else? Were your feet tied together? etc. I've found on this forum those are often more what people are looking for than the actual story parts.

You did do this with the humiliation aspect though, which is nice.
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